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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22958392">a lot can happen in a year</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff and Angst, M/M, but i cant write unhappy endings lol, the rating is for like minor imagery of blood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:34:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22958392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you want to go on a date?” the twin asked Giwook. He was shocked to say the least, and all he could think to do was fidget with his phone resting deep in his pocket. He shook his head without thinking, and he wishes he didn’t. He didn’t mean to say no, he just didn’t want to say yes. He didn’t know what to say; he was confused and dazed and wanted his best friend to come around the corner and say something because he knew he didn’t have the courage to. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion, Lee Giwook | Cya/Son Dongmyeong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a lot can happen in a year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Autumn. </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The earth was cool around the three of them, leaves crunched in their autumn beauty, nothing daring to tear them other the feet of the millions through Seoul everyday. Today, they dared tear apart their beauty, and Giwook didn’t know why that was all he could think about while Dongmyeong and Dongju walked on either side of him, for some reason closer to him than each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three made small talk; it was easy for them, it always had been. The twins were bright, always joking and hopping around, and there was no sight that Giwook could argue he cherished more. As they rushed forward into piles of leaves to hear the sound beneath their feet, Giwook watched, a smile on his face as he admired the two boys and their playfulness. “Giwook,” Dongmyeong’s voice broke across the sound of the leaves crunching beneath his own two feet, “You are so slow, come over here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong’s smile was infectious. It was absolutely stunning, and Giwook didn’t know how even the people that stopped to compliment him didn’t gawk at him while doing so. He was the type of attractive that wasn’t so painfully obvious until you did a double take. Then it hit you like a train. He was beautiful, not in the same way his brother was, but down to every little detail, Giwook still couldn’t say why he thought about it so often, either. Sometimes Harin, more Dongmyeong’s friend than his own, joked that everyone who met Dongmyeong thought they might have a crush on him, but Giwook dismissed that faster than Harin suggested it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongju’s smile was gummy, attractive. It made everyone else smile, too. It might not have been infectious like Dongmyeong’s, but it was easy for him to make other people smile without trying still. He was breathtaking. It was easy to see why contracts were offered to Dongju left and right whether for modeling, acting, or any other celebrity status. People gawk at Dongju. People stand and stare, no matter who he’s with, leaving Dongmyeong and Giwook to watch as smiled and explained that yes, he signed, no doesn’t want to reconsider, yes he will take your card. And he wouldn’t admit it, but they always noticed that he threw them away at a cafe or park instead of keeping them like he used to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know how long someone could have been raking to make those piles,” Giwook laughed at the sight of the two, happy and worry-free. Dongmyeong’s eyes widened in worry and realization, slowly stepping off the side of the road and meeting with Giwook again, he couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Dongju following, just as worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cute,” one of them mumbled, but he couldn’t see or hear it clearly enough to make it out as one or the other. Instead of asking, he opted to continue carrying himself to the cafe just a little further down the street where they had intended to be anyway. They always ran late, but it wasn’t like their schedule really mattered. Well, his didn’t. For the most part, Dongmyeong’s didn't either. Dongju did have to meet with a manager, do some training later in the day. He always made time for his brother and Giwook, though, and Giwook admired that. Everyone knew how busy he was, and the two assured him that he didn’t have to allot time for them, but he did regardless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cafe was unsurprisingly empty to Giwook, who frequented the little place, unknown to most people. It isn’t in the heavily populated streets of Seoul, which could make one wonder how it even remained in businesses, but the place was nice, comfy. The twins took in the atmosphere of the tiny shop, not that there was much to see. The lighting was terrible and there was only one other person in the whole store, a teenager whose music could be heard from the headphones covering his ears reminding Giwook of himself. “Kinda gloomy,” Dongmyeong smiled at Giwook despite it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He guided the two to one of the only two tables that can hold more than two people, nodding. “Sorry if you don’t really like it, it's just not crowded like all the other places around here are,” he explained casually, taking a seat. “Do you want me to order for you, or…?” he trailed off, leaving the twins room to finish for themselves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can order! Just the usual, right?” Dongju offered, already standing. Both of them nodded, and he approached the counter, where a woman was waiting with a small smile for the boy to order. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook pulled out his phone, getting ready to wait in silence for the order as usual, but Dongmyeong apparently had another plan. He put his hand gently on top of Giwook’s, and his whole body turned rigid. He didn’t mean to let himself become so shocked at the small action, but he couldn’t help but have that automatic reaction to it. He rarely held either of the twins’ hands, but Dongmyeong’s were so soft each time he did despite how practiced they were. Giwook couldn’t help but compare them to his own in his head, noticing how soft and small Dongmyeong’s were in an innocent, beautiful way. His own were bony, calloused, and sometimes ached from their overuse in an altogether ugly way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giwook?” he offered the younger a tilted smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t help to do anything but smile back, “Yeah?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for showing us this place, it is really nice. I didn’t mean to seem like I didn’t like—”  He was cut off by Giwook’s giggles that he couldn’t suppress. “What?” he smiled dramatically, laughing with him about something he wasn’t even aware of. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Giwook looked down at the table. “I just… I hate it here, I just remembered Dongju mentioning how much he hated the big crowds everywhere else, and I used to come here all the time,” he didn’t realized that he had somewhat rambled until he was brought back to the reality of Dongmyeong stared at him fondly even after his explanation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw, Giwookie,” he teased, “You are always so considerate” his smile grew so wide his eyes joined it, and it was that kind of happy Giwook wished to see from him all the time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just before Giwook was about to speak that Dongju was being handed drinks, and he rushed up to help him carry all three, taking his own. “Thanks,” Dongju smiled sweetly, following him back to the table where Dongmyeong was waiting, looking a little surprised at how fast his best friend had just got up to help him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Giwook nearly mumbled to Dongmyeong, who smiled in return. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are either of you busy next Sunday?” Dongju asked, looking at what was probably a calendar on his phone. Giwook wished that he could take it away and just see how genuinely busy his schedule was and show him how much he deserved a break. Resting. At home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of any of that happening, Giwook shook his head, knowing he wasn’t busy, and even if he was or something turned up, he would drop anything for either of the twins. What took them both by surprise was Dongmyeong, who nodded, “I have lessons around three,” he explained. Giwook didn’t know how Dongmyeong thought he still needed lessons. He invited him just once, and the teacher even sits there nodding. Sure there is always room to improve, and no one can be the best, but Giwook is convinced that Dongmyeong is damn near it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess it’s just us then?” Dongju offered, and Giwook nodded happily. He didn’t really have a choice, but every moment he spent with either of them was a moment he cherished. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong feigned sadness, frowning, “Maybe if I finish I can meet up with you? Be sure to text me,” he looked directly at his brother, who was responding to a text. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Dongju stood up with his coffee in hand, “You guys can stay here, thanks for inviting me,” he looked rushed, and all Giwook and Dongmyeong could really do was wave. All three of them knew that this is what Dongju wanted, that he was happy, but everytime he stressed making time for them, the other two were left to feel almost guilty. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” Giwook asked Dongmyeong lightly, whose sadness didn’t seem all too fake, now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other boy shook his head. “You know why he makes so much time for you, right?” Dongmyeong put emphasis on the ‘you,’ for some reason Giwook just wasn’t getting. “Ah, nevermind…” he looked down at the table upon seeing the confusion painted on his friend’s face. “Let’s just enjoy this time, okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook nodded, still confused, but happy at the latter suggestion. His bony fingers slid around the plastic cup in front of him, lifting to the lid to his mouth and sipping the hot, bittersweet coffee before he spoke. “How are your lessons going?” Giwook asked since it had been a while since he talked about them. Dongmyeong had already gotten into the best school he could, already meant with the best teachers, won some of the best awards. Giwook didn’t know why or how he could even still want lessons, but Dongmyeong had a passion for learning and developing that Giwook admired. He was hard working to say the least. He loved that about his friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good!” Dongmyeong cheered, that stupidly stunning smile plastered across his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Giwook agreed, catching Dongmyeong’s smile on his own lips. He couldn’t help it. He swore there was something about that boy that actually forced people to want to smile when they were around him. Both of the twins were like that. He didn’t know how they did it. When Giwook spoke to people, he was usually red in the face and stuttered because of how nervous he was, but being there beside either of them helped. Being beside Dongju inspired his confidence, but being beside Dongmyeong made his confidence inspire him. He liked that vulnerability. It reminded him how human he and everyone else around him are. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was thinking about switching teachers soon, though,” he twisted the straw around in his cup. It was beyond Giwook why any would order an iced coffee with the weather so cold, but Dongmyeong wasn’t as prone to freezing like Giwook was. Giwook just said it was the difference in the clothes they wear, him always having preferred comfortable and baggy items opposed to Dongmyeong’s layers of aesthetically appealing items that Dongju often bought for him, but Dongmyeong said it was something about how vulnerable Giwook made himself to everything, the seasons included. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Giwook had to explain that joke, he’d say that he just wanted to feel everything around him. Inspiration hit at strange times, and he never wanted to miss an opportunity to capture exactly how he sees the world. Dongmyeong liked that explanation, said it was inspiring in itself, but Giwook had never explained it to anyone else, not even Dongju. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why switch teachers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… Just to see the different teaching styles?” Dongmyeong spoke like he was questioning his own decision. This wasn’t the first time he had decided to change teachers, though, and everyone knew that he was going to do it no matter what the others thought. “I just want to hear more constructive criticism, but my teacher right now isn’t very good at giving that…” he trailed off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook broke into a weak smile, “Ever think that maybe they just have nothing to criticize?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong blushed just at the thought, “Of course they do, Giwook, nobody is perfect,” he laughed it off, trying to his face behind his coffee. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Except maybe you…” Giwook mumbled into his cup without really thinking about whether or not the other would hear him. “Like maybe your piano playing, like maybe it is perfect?” Giwook stammered out, putting his coffee down. Dongmyeong just stared at him, eyes wide but expression unreadable. His face was still a bit red, but Giwook didn’t know if it was from what he said now or earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Part of Giwook wishes Dongmyeong had heard everything, but whether or not he did, Giwook didn’t know, and he didn’t plan on asking. They just remained like that, not saying everything completely to each other and instead waiting. They waited so long that Dongju had come back, time and time again to reassure them that whatever they had to say between each other would always have to wait. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Winter. </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was snowing outside when Giwook realized that Harin could be right. He was waiting for the twins to come out of their apartment, this time wearing something heavier than a sweater. He knew there were windows in that place, so why they thought their sweaters could survive the snowy outdoors was beyond Giwook. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” Dongju said, opening the door to greet him, Dongmyeong following just behind him as if on cue, “You ready?” Giwook nodded, pretending as if he hadn’t been ready for the past five minutes that he offered to wait outside their apartment for them. Dongju offered to let him in, but the past few times he had been in the apartment, he left feeling things that he didn’t know how to say properly, so he tried to ignore those feelings altogether and instead feel only what he understood. The one problem with that is the twins made him feel like he didn’t understand anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was rare that he touched any of them, so it caught Giwook off guard as they were walking side-by-side to a nearby music store when Dongju’s hand somehow slipped into his own, fingers interlocking. By no means did he mind it, but he didn’t know what it meant or if it really did mean anything. Dongju must have felt Giwook’s attempt to pull away before he realized what was happening because he released his hand before whispering “Is this okay?” to Giwook who only knew how to nod at that. It was true, too. For Giwook, it was okay. But for Giwook, it didn’t mean anything more than he was cold or lonely or too shy to say that he just needed someone to hold onto at that moment. For Dongju, Giwook could only guess. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong smiled like he didn’t notice anything, carrying himself buoyantly to the little shop while Giwook admired how someone could be excited for just some little store. Anyone else might think it was nothing, but the fondness Giwook harbored for his best friend was something more than what he felt for his other friends. Of course, though, Dongmyeong was his </span>
  <em>
    <span>best </span>
  </em>
  <span>friend for a reason. But it was snowing and he realized how beautiful his best friend looked with snowflakes catching on his hair and nose and ignoring every time his brother told him to put his hood up. Dongmyeong’s smile was glowing as he bounced toward their destination with an eagerness that could only be mimicked by him. Giwook liked this eagerness, and he wanted to join him, but Dongju’s hand now in his pocket from how cold it was anchored him away from the other twin. Instead he smiled at Dongju, “He’s always so excited for little things, huh?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongju tilted his head at Giwook, and he was honored to be greeted with that gummy smile in return, but something about it pulled his heart from his chest this time. He felt like his heart more than skipped a beat, but like it had stopped altogether. Usually, that would be a romantic thing, something sort of poetic, but he was afraid it was going to get stepped on and ruined and he wouldn’t have the heart to tell anyone to stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s always excited to spend time with you…” Dongju trails off, gazing happily toward his brother, “Almost like he has a crush,” he jokes but Giwook could feel the shoe atop his heart, finally pressing down. He wasn’t going to pick it back up, not right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook couldn’t help but blush, it was just a natural response, “You shouldn’t say things like that,” he looked down shyly trying to avoid Dongju’s eyes, but it was useless. He leaned his head down, poking at Giwook’s cheek with a finger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be shy, it’s too cute when you get like that,” he teased. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook was sure his face turned even more red as he swatted Dongju’s hand away, but stopped to look at him carefully for a second. He was so happy like this, Giwook knew he wouldn’t be able to do anything other than accept how the other felt, no matter what that was. He couldn’t do anything about it now. It was Dongmyeong’s sigh that brought him back to reality. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was only for a second, but his ever present smile had turned to a pensive frown, but when their eyes met, he was smiling again. There was always something Dongmyeong wasn’t telling him. He wanted to know what made his friend’s eyes so pensive, but he was chained to Dongju by their interlaced fingers, not knowing when or if he would be able to let go. Dongmyeong turned back around though, racing them into the shop like a child. Giwook wished he could be that carefree. It is what he always tried to be. Everyone joked about the innocence he harbored, and of course it was true, but it wasn’t always childlike. Instead it was a little anxious and heavy feeling, but it was hard to communicate that when it appeared as something else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” Dongju breathed out once they had made it into the store. He finally removed his hand from Giwook, who suddenly felt absent without it, but the thought of asking for it back in any way made his head hurt. Hadn’t he worked so hard just to unlace himself from the other boy? Why take that feeling back now? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it's nice, isn’t it?” Giwook looked around, immediately approaching the shelves lined with anything and everything one could ask for. He didn’t know how they fit it all into such a little shop, but they did and it was beautiful. Giwook had to admit, it was something he could have only dreamed of. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t matter how you looked at it. Music meant everything to Giwook. Since he was young, it had been his dream. Now, it’s his career and still a hobby. There is nothing more important to him than his ability to escape the anxieties and pressures of the world around him just by being able to do what he loves most. Maybe not everyday gifts him like the last and writer’s block is a pain, but not everyone gets to love what they do. Not everyone has a passion like this, and Giwook will be ever thankful for the ability to pursue his dreams because he knows how rare it is that someone will get to spend the rest of their life doing what they have always wanted to do. And he knows it's even rarer to have a support system like his and to love the people he surrounds himself with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to tear himself from his thoughts when Dongju tapped his shoulder, “Can we talk really quick?” looked toward the front of the shop, where they would be completely out of sight from Dongmyeong, who was lost in the piano books. Giwook nodded, tearing himself from the shelf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, just…” Dongju bit his bottom lip, watching people pass outside. It was still snowing. “Just trying to get the courage to ask you something…” Giwook didn’t say anything. What was he supposed to say or think after someone said that. He just let him finish. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to go on a date?” the twin asked Giwook. He was shocked to say the least, and all he could think to do was fidget with his phone resting deep in his pocket. He shook his head without thinking, and he wishes he didn’t. He didn’t mean to say no, he just didn’t want to say yes. He didn’t know what to say; he was confused and dazed and wanted his best friend to come around the corner and say something because he knew he didn’t have the courage to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But no one came. Nothing moved, just Dongju waiting patiently, like he would wait forever for Giwook to answer him, but what about him made Dongju want to go on a date with him? What about him did someone actually fall in love with? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite every question he had and every answer he wanted to give, his small voice could hardly choke out a sound. It was like a knife was being held at his neck, threatening to draw blood if he spoke. But he had to speak, so he dared not to say the wrong thing, and he could feel the knife move away from his neck as he finally managed the small, worthless word while he still bled out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongju’s smile is all he could think about, the way it was so genuine while Giwook could hardly keep himself from screaming. There was nothing in the world he hated more than himself at that moment, nothing more completely hopeless. It all felt like a lie. Dongju’s smile should have seemed fake for some reason, but it wasn’t because he didn’t know that Giwook only answered him because he was scared of the other man with a knife killing him. He didn’t know how to tell him that it wasn’t him and that it had never been him. He wanted Dongju to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know, </span>
  </em>
  <span>to </span>
  <em>
    <span>see it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But there was nothing. Just happiness. All Giwook could do was swallow his pride no matter how badly his throat stung because the man with the knife had still killed him. Giwook could just still feel pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dongj—” Dongmyeong’s voice cut clearly from the back of the store, and his head peeked around the corner. He smiled, seeing the two of them standing somewhat awkwardly at the front of the store. Giwook was looking out the window, eyes anywhere but on Dongju while trying not to let tears well up in his stinging eyes because this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault. Whatever happened after right then was on him. “Hey, can you come look at this?” Dongmyeong asked his brother, approaching him now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook thought Dongju was going to respond before his phone rang loudly causing even the cashier to grimace. He was slightly embarrassed and a little apologetic as he picked it up, “Geonhak! Hey,” he walked away, somewhere where his talking would be muffled, but the store was small enough that the other two could still hear that he had to leave. Of course. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he came back around the corner, he looked defeated, apology still painted all over his face just like before he had picked up the phone. It reminded Giwook of how much he missed Dongju before he had accepted a job under any company. He missed how carefree and playful he was. Instead, the days he spent with them, he seemed on edge and stressed, like something bad could happen at any given time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to go, the rest of the group needs me for practice,” he explained, pointing at his phone, “I’m sorry again…” he trailed off, his phone placed back to his ear. “I will be there in like ten minutes, okay? Sorry, I just thought I had a little more time…” he finished speaking before hanging up the phone. “I will see you soon?” he directed more toward Giwook than Dongmyeong, who nodded almost shamefully. His neck and cheeks were red, he could feel it, and he hoped he had choked back tears successfully so that Dongmyeong wouldn’t notice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, see ya,” he gave him a gentle wave before leaving. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” he looked toward Dongmyeong who seemed saddened. It had to be hard watching your brother grow so busy and so distant. It was then that he realized Dongmyeong didn’t even show Dongju what he wanted to. “Can I see it?” Giwook asked, hoping Dongmyeong would understand what he was talking about. He didn’t know why he was like that, always trying to speak in as few words as possible. There wasn’t really a purpose other than not really wanting to talk, but he wanted to talk with Dongmyeong all day. He would never stop listening to him if he had the choice, too, which is why it made sense to him that he would be that way with even him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong’s face lit up in a smile, dimpling just a bit at the edges as he eagerly guided Giwook to the back. “Do you think this looks too hard for me?” he somewhat shoved a piano book that had been displaced toward Giwook, who accepted it happily. The music was harder, for sure. Giwook could never dream of playing it, but compared to some of the things that he had seen and heard Dongmyeong play, this would be easy for him. He wondered when Dongmyeong would realize he could start composing things himself instead of playing out of books all day, but whatever made Dongmyeong happiest was all that was worth it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you would kill it,” Giwook replied, still staring at the pages, “but you could play harder than this too. You could write something of your own, even,” he let his thoughts out without meaning to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soft hands grabbed at the book, and before Giwook could say anymore, Dongmyeong shut him down, “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he warned, “I’m not that good…” he carried the book to another shelf, one that the book likely belonged to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, don’t put it up,” Giwook whined. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong’s laugh was worth any amount of whining. There was nothing more beautiful than it, and Giwook knew that. He wished with every ounce of himself that he had half the heart to tell him something like that. “I’m not, don’t worry. Just looking at this one, too,” he pulled it down, flipping through the pages before deciding on keeping it with him. “Are you still looking?” he asked Giwook, who shook his head lamely. He didn’t have nearly enough money to get half of the things he would’ve wanted anyway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook nodded, and they headed to check out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Spring. </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was pouring outside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Donju had already called to cancel their date. Their sixth date. Giwook had somehow let himself go on six dates with the other boy, but he didn’t know what to do. Each time they had felt closer and the date itself was easier and Giwook enjoyed the next more than the last, but he never felt anything other than friendly towards him. There was no romantic love no matter how hard he tried to pry at the inner workings of his heart to try and find something. But there was just nothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They told their friends after their second date that they were officially “dating,” but Giwook’s nerves must have been high strung and obvious to Dongju who assured him that it didn’t have to be anything more than the two of them going on dates, which made him somewhat relieved, but every time he thought about the future his teeth drew droplets of blood from his lip and nails ended up jagged. He hated that everytime he got like this, Dongmyeong was the only person he knew to call. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you up to?” a deep voice scared him, making him jump. Turning, he was greeted with Geonhak’s smiling face, before he turned meekly to the floor, too afraid to look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He painted something only he could see with his foot onto the floor while shrugging, “I was going to go out today, but it’s a little gloomy…” he trails off, tired and feeling defeated from having stayed up all night. He was too antsy every night before a date. He was doing more to beat himself up than he ever could do to hurt Dongju, and at this point, he finally came to terms with that, but he can’t come to terms with a healthy way to stop it, no matter how badly he wanted to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your lip is bleeding,” isn’t quite what he expected the other boy to say, but he wasn’t wrong, Giwook would be the first to admit. He didn’t know how long his lip had been bleeding, but his lips had been sore all the time recently. They tore easily under the pressure of his teeth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook only nodded in response. It was just an observation, and he didn’t really want to explain to Geonhak why his observation was painfully true.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to help you clean it up?” the older was too kind to him, kinder than he deserved. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook still shook his head though. He hated that he was stubborn, like a child, but he didn’t want to burden anyone into taking care of him. He was an adult, he should be perfectly capable of doing it himself, but it was no surprise that he failed again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should clean it up before you go out...if you go out,” he clarifies tacking that onto the end of sentence. His arms are crossed and he’s watching the rain fall with Giwook, who doesn’t know what else to say or do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, hyung. I will,” he didn’t want to sound short with him, but he never knew what to say. He was Dongju’s friend, not his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know no one is making you go out with him,” he said suddenly, just when the silence had grown too awkward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Giwook jumped, taken aback by his sudden words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No one is making you. If you don’t love him, that’s fine,” Geonhak was looking at Giwook now, but he kept his eyes fixed outside on the pitter patter of the rain hitting the streets and windows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like him,” Giwook said with no real conviction behind his words. He wanted to mean it, and he wanted to be able to say more without lying, but he couldn’t. And he wasn’t going to lie to someone that he knew cared a lot about Dongju. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at me, Giwook,” he said, and Giwook shut his eyes before dramatically turning. He didn’t want to get mad, but he couldn’t handle this interrogation or whatever it was about to become. He just wanted to lay out in the rain and wash away the mistakes from the past few months. “You might not be lying about liking him, but you cannot tell me you love him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was right, and they both knew it. Giwook wouldn’t even try to say it because it was so false. He didn’t know how many people he would be hurting admitting it either. Staying in this middle ground felt better, safer. The only thing he was sick of sacrificing was his relationship with Dongmyeong, which had seemed to drive a wedge in itself ever since the other two started dating. Giwook assumed that was because he didn’t like Giwook taking up all of his brother’s time now and leaving little to none for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, so what?” he asked defensively, looking back down at the floor. He knew it wasn’t the right response, but it was all he could say without letting so much out that Geonhak would have to stare at him funny. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sigh came from the older man before he finally worded his thoughts, “You are hurting yourself, and you are hurting Dongju. You’re also hurting someone else…” he trailed off, his turn to look away like he shouldn’t have said that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who?” Giwook asked confused, like this shouldn’t have anything to do with anyone other than him and Dongju. This is his battle, not anyone else’s, and it was bad enough that he still has Dongju thinking that there is no war. “You?” he asked in an attempt to get an answer. Geonhak only shook his head. Giwook racked his head for answers, and all signs only pointed back to one person. “Where is he, do you know?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He gets out of practice in twenty or so minutes. He left when it was cloudy, so he doesn’t have an umbrella, Geonhak handed Giwook his before he watched the younger boy leave, going only as fast as his legs would let him. He ran out of energy fast, and running made the umbrella almost useless, but he made it to the bus stop where he was waiting for it to scoot into line with the bench. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bus wasn’t full, but there wasn’t much room to sit comfortably, so he stood holding onto a pole nearer the front just so he made sure he got out quickly. While he watched people pass him by both entering and exiting, reality felt a little different, his thoughts drifting back and forth through everything that happened in the last few months, through the mistakes he’s made in the last few months. “Stupid,” he mumbled, people pushing past him. Maybe he deserved it, but they didn’t know him. He is just in their way, always in the way of something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bus whirred to a stop, jostling Giwook’s body, but he was stopped on the right street, just the wrong side. Close enough. His body lurched forward, leaving the bus before anyone else, aching to make it to Dongmyeong’s class before he was stuck in the rain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The umbrella still felt useless in his hands as fast as he moving, his hair almost dripping from the rain pouring over his head. He threw his hood up, frustrated at himself, the world, and Dongmyeong for that overwhelming unspoken secret between the two of them. How could Giwook not have known, what stopped him from realizing? The very thought of Giwook being the reason that Dongmyeong has been smiling less, laughing less, being all around a little less brighter than usual </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt </span>
  </em>
  <span>Giwook. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small frame of the blond boy was holding himself, almost shivering. Not only did he not have an umbrella, he wasn’t wearing a jacket either, and Giwook tore the sweatshirt away from his skin, still wearing two layers underneath it. The rain was hitting him again, making his usually curly hair uncurl at the ends and droop in an almost sad way, but when he approached Dongmyeong, he could see that it was worth it because he was still untouched by the rain, safe under an awning. “Myeongie?” Giwook called him when he got close enough that he knew his small voice could pierce his ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giwook!” he smiled, dropping his arms like nothing was wrong. “What are you doing?” shock was in his voice, and he looked a little worried, “You are going to freeze, put your jacket on!” he shoved it towards him now that they were in front of each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook protested, shaking his head, “It’s a little wet, but please put it on.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dongmyeong sighed, knowing the sweatshirt would sooner end up abandoned on the wet pavement than back on Giwook’s body. He pulled the black fabric over his head with a shiver, “This is going to make me colder than the rain,” he whined at the wet feeling of the fabric clinging to his skin, but they both knew that he’d rather be wearing that than just his sweater when they leave the safety of the awning. “Why are you here, Giwook?” he asked, “Other than to give me this,” he motioned at the sweatshirt now on his body, a little too big for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook stuttered before he could give him a coherent response because he didn’t really think this far ahead. He couldn’t tell him everything that happened, not yet because he knew how badly Dongmyeong would take it. No matter what he felt, his brother was the most important person in the world to him. “I…” he looked at the ground before remembering the weight of the umbrella in his hand, “I brought you this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You brought me this </span>
  <em>
    <span>question mark</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Dongmyeong smiled, accepting the umbrella. “Thank you, Giwook… How did you even know I had lessons?” he asked casually while opening the umbrella, but little did he know he was making Giwook’s heart sputter and stop with worry. All he wanted was to make everyone happy, it just never worked out how he planned to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geonhak told me…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geonhak?” the two of them started walking. Giwook didn’t know where he was taking him, but he was just glad Dongmyeong was holding the umbrella so that when he left his stranded in the rain he would still have something to cover himself with. Giwook was the one that deserved the rain shower. “Since when do you talk to Geonhak?” Dongmyeong’s voice was curious, and his smile was still bright. He made any gloomy day seem like the sun was always out, and Giwook didn’t know how he could do it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Today I guess…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did he know I had lessons?” Dongmyeong asked again. Giwook didn’t know what kind of game of twenty questions they were playing, but he was really worried that he wasn’t going to be able to answer them soon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he mumbled watching his feet hit puddles underneath him, causing rain water to jump back at him, soaking his shoes and socks even more. He should have worn boots, but he didn’t have time to change into them from his sneakers, and he was pretty sure that the forecast didn’t call for rain this morning. And now it was pouring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Weird…” Dongmyeong kept walking, taking them in some strange direction. He didn’t stop at any of the overcrowded bus stops, which made Giwook wonder if he really planned to walk the entire distance he was taking them. Granted they did have an umbrella, it wasn’t much, especially considering Giwook was only walking half under it, getting his entire left side wet. “How is he?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine I guess?” Giwook was almost apologetic for not knowing how to answer his questions. He had never felt like he was forced more into a conversation than this one. “He didn’t really talk about himself,” he tried clarifying, which Giwook realized likely only made Dongmyeong more curious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you guys talk about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Giwook answered and he knew it was too quickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Dongmyeong’s voice fell flat, his expression dropping with it, “Are you okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook dreaded that question because he knew he couldn’t lie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No…” They both stopped. It felt like time stopped. Giwook didn’t know where he was going but he knew that his best friend would wait all day for him to explain, so he tried spitting the words out right then and there. “Dongju and I…” he trailed off, but quickly picked back up, not wanting to worry Dongmyeong too much, “We aren’t working out and I… I don’t want to hurt anyone but no matter what I do, I’m hurting one of you…” he knew he shouldn’t have said the last part, but what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t cover it up either, it was all laid out in front of Dongmyeong. Giwook’s obliviousness had finally died down, and now they both realized. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you telling me that you plan on breaking up with my brother...because of me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook shook his head, but opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. Everything he thought to say sounded wrong. “Yes and no.” Dongmyeong just stared at him, waiting for him to explain. “Yes, I want to break up with him, but no, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>because of you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But partly because of me? You can’t do that,” he said without hesitation, and Giwook wanted nothing more than to be in his room alone and crying, but he knew he couldn’t do that, so instead he explained more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” the words were hard to get out because the truth was so devastating, “I never loved him, Dongmyeong,” he wished he could bite his tongue off if only that meant no one ever expect him to speak again. Not to mention how stupid the two of them most likely looked standing while the rain beat down on their umbrella. In movies, times like this ended with a kiss, but Giwook was still just waiting for him to walk away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Walk, Giwook,” Dongmyeong commanded sharply. They continued walking in silence, the umbrella still covering both of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t going to walk away?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going to let you catch a cold,” His voice was harsh, like the rain hitting his body. He didn’t know whether or not Dongmyeong noticed, but he did know that he wouldn’t care if he did. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Summer. </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Giwook regretted how he hurt Dongju, but seeing him smile the way he did now may have been worth it. He was sitting against the warmth of the dark metal bench beneath them, basking in the summer sun curled toward his new boyfriend, Geonhak. It had taken a while, but Giwook came to be close to him, admiring him as more than an accessory to Dongju or his own life, but someone who was just as complex and went through just as much as they had in their lives. He was happy that Geonhak made Dongju so genuinely happy, that they worked so well together, nothing that him and Dongju had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was thankful that Dongju didn’t hesitate to forgive him, either. He was completely understanding despite how confusing everything seemed to Giwook, who could hardly make out a cohesive sentence when trying to talk to him. The whole time he could only focus on Dongmyeong, who was so mad at him it had brought him to tears. It was Dongju who had to explain that everything was fine, that he understood. But he can’t get Dongmyeong’s voice out of his ears, his words to clear and confident because of how frustrated he was, “I’ve liked him for years,” he remembers him complaining like it happened minutes ago. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Years!</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he didn’t tell me so that he could hurt you!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the time, Dongmyeong’s words had increased the silent sobs weeping from Giwook’s mouth, but it was silly of Giwook to think that he would do anything other than kiss his final cries away. No matter what had happened between him and Dongju, Dongmyeong had been the one that </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>loved Giwook. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone in the world is a little selfish. He couldn’t blame Dongmyeong for going home and kissing him like his life depended on it that night. Giwook wouldn’t admit it, but he expected something more romantic and less spontaneous from him, but he liked every bit of it nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, the two sat side by side on the same bench, all four of them waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. Life moved slowly in front of them, and Giwook liked that. He wasn’t one for too much affection, but he liked the feeling of Dongmyeong’s hand in his own, the softness of his hands doing anything but bruising, which he was always afraid they would. It was weird to him that he could smile and say that they had finally made it. He was convinced that nothing in the world could beat this feeling either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Myeongie?” his small voice cut across the silence that had grown between the four of them, and Dongju giggled about something Giwook wasn’t so sure of. It was a nice sound, and he learned to appreciate it as more than what it was because it wasn’t just a small noise, it was Dongju expressing how truly happy he finally was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was his boyfriend’s bright smile that always reminded Giwook how happy he was. His teeth shone proudly, and from his skin, two dimples protruded, and Giwook couldn’t express in words how he truly believed that there was no sight in the world he would rather see everyday than that smile. It was terribly infectious, he had always known, but he didn’t know just how happy it could make him. “Yeah?” Dongmyeong’s voice was higher, innocent sounding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The soft hand in his own tightened its grip, Giwook wasn’t good with words, not out loud, so he fumbled for a second trying to get out what he needed to. “I love you…” it was a simple start, and Dongmyeong waiting patiently, a smile plastered across his face for him to finish, “And we don’t have to promise forever right now…” Giwook didn’t have a ring with him or anything, he had no plans on proposing, in fact, they had only been dating for a few months, but he had to let Dongmyeong know that a few months or a few years didn’t make a difference to him, he has been with Dongmyeong, felt this for Dongmyeong, his whole life. He didn’t like the idea of that changing. “I could stay like this forever, though.” he concluded with a nod and a weak smile. His head hung toward the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with his boyfriend out of sheer embarrassment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giwook!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It might be selfish of him, but Giwook liked the sound of his own name when Dongmyeong said it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where did that come from?” Dongmyeong’s grip on his hand became impossibly tight before releasing it altogether in order to pull him in for a hug. He was warm and Giwook could feel his smile against his shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He made Dongmyeong this happy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>There was nothing more he could ask to do with his life than always see him this happy. “I love you too, Giwookie,” he mumbled into his shoulder playfully, the usual lilt in his voice coming through clearly despite how quiet he was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched as the bus whirred to stop in front of them, and with the gust it brought carried a couple leaves from a once green, now yellowing, tree. He couldn’t believe how much could happen in a year. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope you enjoyed !!! this is my first weus fic so i hope it came out okay !!! i am thinking about writing more gimyeong in the future !!!</p>
<p>comments and kudos are always appreciated, but never required!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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